Learning with loss: an obituary

Hello wandering hearts.

I was handed some hard news over the weekend and I’m working to understand my emotions surrounding this.

I found out Sunday morning that my biological father had passed away Saturday night from a heart attack.

Now before I get too far into this I have to say that I was blessed to have a Dad who not only stepped up when my bio father didn’t but my Dad adopted me and gave me his last name to make sure the rest of the world knew I was his. With that said – my bio father was a functioning drug addict all of my life. He made terrible self-centered choices that hurt my loved ones and myself (because that’s what addiction does).

I’m sad for my sister, who was closer to him, and is feeling his loss harder than I am. I’m sad for my 10 year old self who once upon a time used to wish this man I knew nothing about would come rescue me when I was angry with my parents. And I’m sad because I still wished to the day he died that he would figure out that his kids want him around.

As I process all my emotions I realized that he probably won’t have a decent obituary so if you’ll bare with my raw emotions and my truthfulness about who he was I’d like to share with you his obituary that I’ve written.

Love & Light


Harry Jerome Sarnowski Jr.


Harry Jerome Sarnowski Jr (Jerry) passed away suddenly on October 21, 2017 in Everett, Washington. Jerry was born November 7th, 1964 to Suzanne (Brandt) and Harry Jerome Sarnowski Sr in Los Angeles, California. He was the eldest of three boys.

Jerry married his first wife, Karen, in 1983. The following year his first daughter Ally was born. They divorced a few years later. In 1988 Jerry married his second wife, Jolene, and the next year they had their daughter, Sarah.

Jerry loved to fish. He also liked to spend time with friends.

He is survived by his daughters, wife, 2 brothers, 2 step brothers and 1 step sister, his father and step mother. He was proceeded in death by his mother.

There will not be a service however he will be remember by his family and friends.